Family Matters: Nurturing Persistence for Success in Weight Control

Persistence 

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. 
Talent will not;
   nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. 
Genius will not;
   unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. 
Education will not;
   the world is full of educated derelicts. 
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. 

- Calvin Coolidge, 1932

Persistence, as described in this wonderful little poem, can lead to remarkable improvements in many areas of life.  From sport performance to academia to career advancement, persistence holds the key to long-term success.  Weight control is another arena that benefits remarkably from a persistent attitude.  No one succeeds in weight control in a straight line, losing all excess weight and maintaining it perfectly over time.  Weight loss slows down inevitably due to many factors.  Weight gain can occur rapidly, even without major deviations from a strict regimen.  When weight controllers learn to manage these frustrations with a doggedly persistent attitude, then they have an excellent chance of success. 

Families involved in Healthy Living Academy’s programs (Academy of the Sierras year round boarding school, Wellspring Camps summer programs) frequently ask about nurturing an adaptive persistent attitude toward weight control in their overweight children.  Some people seem born to persist; that is, some children are very goal-oriented from the time they were toddlers.  Others search for direction with much less vigor.  However, in all cases, nurturance of such an approach can occur through modeling, family-wide goal setting, and consistent positive reinforcement based on actual accomplishments.  The following list of suggestions highlight some of the best ways of nurturing persistence that parents can use.

General Attitude

  • Be positive. Convey to your child that even though it is very difficult to control weight, you believe he or she can do it. This attitude will boost his or her self-confidence while acknowledging the difficulties. Avoid negative comments, criticism and coercion. These are unhelpful and demoralizing and will create negative feelings between you and your child. This, in turn, could cause him or her to eat more—not less—and thwart the likelihood of success in the long run.
  • Be reinforcing. Acknowledge your child’s accomplishments.  Compliments, attention, encouragement and tangible reinforcement (like little gifts) can help him or her stay motivated and adhere to the plan. 
  • Be realistic. Weight control requires tremendous effort and skill to overcome strong biological forces. People who are trying to lose weight must adopt eating and exercise patterns that are much more stringent than normal.  Don’t expect your child to be perfect, or even close to perfect. Occasional slips of overeating, inactivity, weight gain and failure to adhere to plans will occur. Help your child learn from these experiences rather than dwell on them as “failures.”
  • Communicate. If your child is a relatively independent teenager, occasionally inquire about his or her progress. Ask him or her how you can help, thereby complimenting your teen’s individual efforts. Be open to discussing the challenges of weight control and to assist in solving problems.

Managing Food

  • Increase the amount of nutritious, low-fat foods available to your child.
  • Do NOT encourage your child to eat foods that he or she is trying to avoid (for example, refrain from saying, “Let’s go out for ice cream,” or “Oh, come on, a little bit isn’t going to hurt you.”).
  • Prepare food for you child in a low-fat way. Encourage experimentation and adventure.
  • Adopt appropriate eating habits, for example: not eating when full, eating appropriate portions, eating in a slow, deliberate fashion, eating regularly or on a schedule, limiting snacking and limiting the number of eating situations. You may not have a weight problem, but better eating habits may improve your health and will support your child’s efforts.
  • Plan activities with your child that do not revolve around food (for example, sporting events, concerts, games).
  • When you take your child to a restaurant, select places that make low-fat/low-sugar eating as pleasant as possible.

Promoting Exercise

  • Plan activities with your child that involve exercise (for example, walking, hiking, sports).
  • Exercise with your child. You will reap the same physical benefits as your partner.
  • Support and encourage your child’s individual efforts to exercise.
  • Model an active lifestyle.  This could involve becoming a more avid sports participant (e.g., tennis, golf), a regular health club user, using exercise equipment at home regularly, or just someone who seeks out, rather than avoids, movement.  For example, when you have a choice about walking up a couple of flights of stairs rather than using an escalator, walk the stairs.
  • Use a pedometer yourself.  Target 10,000 steps and consider posting your numbers and your child’s numbers on a calendar on the refrigerator.
  • Create a reward system that reinforces monitoring of activity and achieving physical goals (like running a mile in less than 9 minutes).