My name is Brooke. I am from Prescott, Arizona. I am 17 years old. I have been at the Academy of the Sierras since January 30, 2006. Before AOS, I was a pretty sad case. I was very depressed. I had been depressed since 2002 my parents are divorced and they are both remarried. I love my mom and step dad. They are both amazing people. My father has always helped me through so much for my stepmother, that's a different story. I was pretty mistreated by her. And to this day we still don't get along, but I truly never want to talk to her ever again. Also before AOS I was a cutter and had tried to kill myself. So January 30, 2006, my life was saved. I assure you without this place, I would be dead. I have lost 47 pounds. Let me tell you it's not been easy. Three weeks ago I fell down. I made a pretty grave mistake. As a result I got a long fall from delayer. It was probably the best thing to happen to me at AOS. My long fall made me realize I was doing everything for the wrong reasons. I had moved up for all the wrong reasons. But now I've gotten up dusted myself off and I've taken the first step. I moved back up to boulder. But now I'm having a problem with the second step. It's hard for me to get back on program. I find myself asking why? Why should I exercise or self monitor, why should I put on makeup. Which if you know me I usually have nice matching makeup to go with my outfits. But lately I've had no motivation. So to move up to ascender my B.C. wants me to write a paper on motivation. So I now just have to do it. No matter how much I hate to exercise or self monitor, this is my life. Sure, there will be times when I'm not motivated but for now consider me back on the bandwagon.