Sorry to myself

Today we had a meeting about the community and about each of us as individuals. I got a lot out of the meeting, including something that is going to be a new coping skill. The exercise is writing a letter to yourself from the person you once were to your self now. So here's mine and that's how I'm going to end the blog today.

Dear Jahcobie,

What are you thinking? What is going through your mind? I know how bad you want it and I know times might get rough but be thankful that you're where you are. Me, I've been sitting here eating my 25 cent chips, smoking my Newport's, on the porch hoping to die. It's hard feeling failure after failure and watching your life flash before your eyes. I want to die and if I had an opportunity to be where you are I would work until there is no more working. I don't believe in you; I've never believed in you; and you continue to be a failure. Work hard and release me so that I may be free and won't have to be the person sitting smoking today. I'm tired of living and you're just beginning your life. I love who your becoming don't let me down. Save me! Set me free! Do you remember the promise you made to me before you left that you were going to put your all into it no matter how tough it gets? You have committed yourself to the program be a leader like you were born to be. Don't let me down, just be who we both are free to live and let live. You remember when those crazy people changed your outlook on life? I do, it trapped me and sometimes I want to come back out and show you who I am just so you will not take for granted where you came from. Let's been together and happy for once in our life.