So I am not as screwed up as I once was and it's scary realizing I am going to have to get to know this Jahcobie. Slowly I am getting ready for the close of this year. It's already scary, but I know that I will be successful. I found out that my behavioral coach is leaving before the transition ceremony so I am kind of sad about that. I know it's been a rough journey but it is not over yet and I am going to persevere through all the tough times to come. I figure that I need to make a goal for the last couple of weeks I am here something attainable that I can reach. So that's a good thing.

So let me fill you in on what has been happening this week. I didn't go home, however it was a good weekend. I connected with Katherine a lot and that was pretty cool. I went to the movies and saw Phat Girlz this week - it was a great movie. It referred a lot to being happy with your self at the end of the day. The movie is very controversial because it was about taking pride in the fact that you're big and in a way I agree with it but at the same time I disagree with it. I guess everyone personally has to take what they can out of the movie. I took that we shouldn't let people screw us up because they're so insecure about who they really are. I know that I could relate about wanting to sabotage my life because I felt like my weight was such a big factor. Many times I didn't let myself into relationships with people because I felt that just because I hated myself everyone hated me to. It is hard rationalizing that challenging thought and tell yourself that your worth it. So again when I have those flash back have to tell my self to SHUT UP!