Have you ever wanted something so bad that you would do anything to get it? Probably, but today I experienced another failure in my life. I went to Jon Peterson's weight training class and had my mind set on the board for the mile and getting a shirt at summit. In order to get on the board you need to run a mile in 11 minutes or less. I missed it by 47 seconds. I keep telling myself what if I would have run harder? However the fact is that I did run hard, I worked harder today and it was one of the hardest working times in my life. To feel like you can do it, and have your hope be snatched so far away from you isn't pretty. However, I will continue to work hard and will get my mile under 11 minutes by June and that is my promise to everyone, I will do it no matter how hard it gets I will Fight For Fitness! I'm going to do this, and need to. It's about proving to myself that I can do a mile in under 11 minutes. I've always been the type who tried to out do the skinny kids and prove that I can do it just as well as everyone else. Of course I didn't always make it and that is ok but now this shirt is more then a shirt its an achievement and an accomplishment. What do I have to do to make my self believe that I did well? Why don't I feel that sense of satisfaction? I need to use a coping skill to get me through to the next moment.

Well off that subject on to the next, I still haven't talked to my dad in 2 weeks. So I think that im going to call him today and work everything out with him. My problem with doing that is I don't want him putting me on a guilt trip in anyway. So I'm going to call him and work this whole thing out with him. I want my daddy back, I don't want to feel like we are enemies. You feel me? Well I leave you with a quote that Jon Peterson told me today when I finished the mile, "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill